Father’s Day 2016

We were at the podiatrist’s office the other day and Dad was in a silly mood. He was making faces at the nurse behind her back, and we both had to suppress our laughter so as not to let her in on our joke.
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I’ve been playing polka tunes for him most mornings. The accordions and horns rouse in me an ancient joy and I twirl around the kitchen. From his chair by the window, Dad watches me and laughs as he claps in time to the music.
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At the close of this #fathersday, I am laying against him on the couch, my left arm intertwined with his right. He is wearing the same white tee shirt he held me against when I was newborn. Not the exact shirt you see but his dad uniform.
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He was paging through a book but now he’s watching these words come to life across a screen. “I’m writing about you” I say, and he giggles.
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Memories flood me.
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The sound of gulls crying, the sulfur smell of the bay as we settle into our favorite fishing spot on the stern. It is dawn. Late summer. When he gets a fish on the line later this day he will pass his rod to me to reel it in.
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He is standing over the grill in his dad uniform. I am looking for fossils amid the stones around our above ground pool. I stretch my toes out past the border. Green clovers. White clover flowers. Soft grass. Smoke rising.
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I pull back the heavy glass door. I enter Dad and Uncle’s upholstery shop (plus the spirit of their father). My own father is standing at the counter running his hands over a bolt of fabric. His arms ripple with hard work. His eyes light up to see me.
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We walk hand-in-hand through the market. He is in awe with all the choices. He keeps telling me how proud he is as I fill our basket with groceries. But his pride is my true sustenance. His love is my true survival. His heart is my true guide.

#myfathermyheart #happyfathersday #purelove#loveaboveall #alzheimersawareness #endalz#alzheimers #enddem #dementia #iamacaregiver#fightwithyourheart

Crossposted to Instagram